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Embracing Feminist Empowerment in Divorce
The word "feminist" can be polarizing, often evoking strong reactions across the spectrum of public opinion. However, at its core, feminism simply advocates for equality of rights and opportunities for women. In the context of divorce preparation, embracing feminist principles means empowering yourself to secure a fair and equitable outcome.
In many societies, deeply ingrained patriarchal structures have historically placed women at a disadvantage, particularly in matters of finance and property. These societal norms can lead women to minimize their needs and contributions when facing divorce. Years of subtle messaging through a patriarchal lens may cause women to compromise their positions during negotiations, often to their detriment.
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But by adopting a feminist approach to divorce preparation, women can break free from these limiting beliefs and advocate effectively for themselves. This mindset encourages women to recognize their full worth – including financial contributions, unpaid labor, and personal sacrifices made during the marriage. Empowering yourself with feminist thinking during divorce preparation ensures that you have a strong voice in the outcome, leading to better financial navigation of life as a single person post-divorce.
This guide aims to provide you with the tools and knowledge to approach your divorce from a position of strength and self-advocacy. Remember, preparing for divorce like a feminist doesn't mean being confrontational or unreasonable; it means valuing yourself, understanding your rights, and working towards an equitable resolution that sets you up for future success and independence.
Why Preparation Matters
Studies show that women's household income can drop by up to 41% after divorce, compared to just 23% for men. Proper preparation can help you:
Protect your financial interests
Reduce stress and anxiety
Make informed decisions
Set the stage for post-divorce success
The Divorce Planner's mission is to help you break through any hurdles you'll face during divorce by helping you prepare in advance, so you're in the best position to get the outcome you want. We're about setting you up to succeed with meaningful tips and tools that allow you to take control of the process and have peace of mind throughout.
16 Empowering Steps to Prepare for Divorce
1. Educate Yourself
Action: Research divorce laws in your state. Attend workshops or consult a divorce attorney.
Benefit: Knowledge reduces anxiety and helps you make informed decisions.
Level Up: Start educating yourself with these two posts two posts: What To Expect When Meeting With Divorce Attorneys and The Real Cost Of Divorce In 2024.
2. Gather Financial Documents
Action: Collect bank statements, tax returns, investment accounts, and property deeds.
Benefit: Creates a clear picture of your financial situation for fair negotiations.
Level Up: Check out The Divorce Planner's What To Gather Worksheet in the Ultimate Divorce Prep Bundle. It walks you through exactly what to collect so you have everything in hand necessary for a divorce attorney or mediator to get right to work.
3. Assess Your Finances
Action: List all assets, debts, income, and expenses.
Benefit: Understand your financial standing to plan for independence.
Level Up: Use The Divorce Planner's monthly budget spreadsheet to help you anticipate the financial changes divorce will bring so you make a plan and negotiate smartly.
Take a deeper dive on why preparing financially is so important for women in the post Divorced Women Are Financially Vulnerable: Here's Why Financial Planning BEFORE Divorce Is Critical.
4. Open Individual Accounts
Action: Set up personal bank and credit card accounts.
Benefit: Establishes financial independence and protects your assets.
5. Build Your Credit Score
Action: Check your credit report and pay bills on time.
Benefit: Good credit is crucial for loans, renting, or buying property post-divorce.
Level Up: You can get a free copy of your credit report from each of the three credit reporting agencies (Equifax, Experian, and TransUnion) once a year by visiting AnnualCreditReport.com.
6. Create a Post-Divorce Budget
Action: Estimate your post-divorce income and expenses.
Benefit: Helps avoid financial surprises and ensures stability.
Level Up: Read 38 Money Secrets Of Divorce: What you NEED To Know Before Starting The Process.
7. Value All Assets
Action: Get professional appraisals for real estate, businesses, and valuables.
Benefit: Ensures you receive a fair share in the settlement.
Level Up: Learn the different assets you need to take into consideration, and how to protect them in the post 7 Ways To Protect Your Assets During Divorce.
8. Understand Retirement Plans
Action: Review all retirement accounts and learn how they can be divided.
Benefit: Secures your long-term financial future.
Level Up: Financial planner Josetphi Cruz shared so many valuable tips for navigating divorce and safeguarding your retirement in this conversation with The Divorce Planner's founder, divorce prep coach Alex Beattie.
9. Plan Your Career
Action: Assess your skills and consider additional training if needed.
Benefit: Enhances earning potential and financial independence.
Level Up: Take action to tackle getting back into the workforce or looking for higher paying opportunities by developing marketable skills, building your professional network, researching your field and understanding your earning potential and creating a realistic post-divorce budget.
10. Build a Support Team
Action: Identify trusted friends, family, and professionals for support.
Benefit: Provides emotional backing and expert guidance.
Level Up: Affordable guidance is within your reach. Book a free 15 minute consultation with divorce prep coach Alex Beattie to see if working together is the right next step for you.
11. Document Personal Property
Action: Inventory household items with photos and estimated values.
Benefit: Ensures fair division of property and prevents disputes.
Pro Tip: Knowing what is yours, theirs, and ours before negotiations allows you to anticipate what you want to keep, what you're ready to part with and what your partner will want. (That way you don't get stuck fighting over some lumpy chair you don't really want anyway!).
12. Secure Important Documents
Action: Gather and safely store birth certificates, passports, and other crucial papers.
Benefit: Protects your identity and simplifies the divorce process.
13. Set Up Private Communication
Action: Create a new email address and consider a separate phone line for divorce matters.
Benefit: Maintains privacy and emotional boundaries.
14. Research Child Custody
Action: If applicable, understand custody laws and consider ideal arrangements.
Benefit: Helps you advocate for your children's best interests.
Level Up: Research parenting plans to consider. Start with this conversation divorce prep coach Alex Beattie had about creating your best parenting plan with parenting plan expert Samantha Boss.
15. Consider Mediation
Action: Explore alternative dispute resolution methods.
Benefit: Can be less adversarial and more cost-effective than litigation.
Level Up: Learn how to prepare for divorce mediation and what to expect in the post How To Prepare For Divorce Mediation: A Step By Step Guide.
16. Prioritize Self-Care
Action: Establish a self-care routine and consider therapy.
Benefit: Supports your mental health throughout the process. Thorough preparation can significantly reduce stress and anxiety. Studies show that feeling in control of the divorce process leads to better mental health outcomes.
Level Up: Read the post Divorce Self-Care Toolkit to jumpstart your divorce self-care routine.
And One Last Thing On Recognizing Your Worth
Remember to value your contributions to the marriage when going through divorce negotiations, including:
Unpaid domestic labor
Caregiving responsibilities
Career sacrifices
Document these contributions as they can impact financial settlements.
Empowered for the Future
By following these steps, you're not just preparing for divorce – you're setting the foundation for a thriving, independent future. Remember, the goal is to emerge stronger, more confident, and ready for the next chapter of your life.
Take action today. Your future self will thank you for the care and consideration you put into this preparation.
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